The best of Ken M
what if u had an identical twin that did porn and u like went to the grocery and theyre like “omg i saw u take 3 dicks at once while wearing a turtle costume” and ur like “god dammit gary”
one time my mom accidentally put wine into my little sister’s sippy cup and it was only discovered because when my sister asked for another cup she added “this juice is spicy”
*looks at Princess* Mmmhmm!
*holds up sippy cup*
"More of the spicy juice, pretty pleeaase?"
*innocent face*don’t do this here
GO MAKE OUT WITH HIM RIGHT NOW
this is my fiancee, me. she (me) doesn’t think she’s (I’m) that pretty. She (me) is always crying about the girls who get 1000 note selfies, while she (me) gets roughly 20. Please let me be able to tell her (me) that she (me) is just as beautiful as the girls who get so many notes on their selfies. Isn’t she (me) beautiful? Please let me help prove it to her (me).
how come its hilarious when a straight girl likes a gay guy but heartbreaking when a gay guy likes a straight guy